insert title here

self indulgent description


I was wearing my Gryffindor shirt while Christmas shopping and there was this cute guy in a Slytherin hat and we made eye contact and he looked me up and down and said “10 points to Gryffindor” and winked at me and normally I hate being hit on but damn boy that’s the way to do it

(via junk-punk)

(via roronoa79)


I’m gonna scream

(via junk-punk)

Whoops my leg through a hole in the floor grating at work fuck


gym leaders talking about strategies and previous battles (actually its just Roxanne)


(via steeltrainer)





I scrolled past this at first and then I thought about it and I realized what it means

what does it mean?

It means do you need someone for the sake of not feeling alone and or sad or do you want me because you actually love me, not solely on comfort and fear but you actually want me.


(via mogatrat)


i’d appreciate a lot less questions about my fucked up jacked up popeye arms and how i use them to masturbate and a lot more questions about my plans for this company in the fourth quarter

(via mogatrat)



a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via mogatrat)